december

december is such a funny month.

more than 11 months ago, we had such a long list of new year's resolutions yet now that we've reached this point of the year, we notice there are still many things that we haven't checked off the list.

many people want december to pass by quickly.

many wish the time would slow down.

i was the latter for many years, but this time i am the first one.

2018 is just like any other years. I created a lot of memories, happy, sad, stupid, everything.

I lost my grandfather. 

My parents divorced when I was five. I didn't understand the concept of divorce back them. When I think of my father, things that pop into my head are fire, sirens and pain. I've only had bad memories of him and ever since then, Abah was the only father figure I've had in life. 

When my sister was born, he gave her the name Ezatty just to rhyme his, Esa. I remember how much he doted on her while I had to receive his strict treatment. I was an active kid and I liked to play a lot. But he used to limit where I could go in kampung and so I could only watch my friends play to their hearts content from the sideline.

15 Syawal 1439H, 29 June 2018.

The day he left this world.